I am hesitant to tell you the rest, because I still want to
please you. However, as I am committed
to writing the truth of my life, I must be ready to admit my mistakes. I am culpable for my actions. Let me first
say that I was good park ranger, tour guide, historic interpreter, whatever you
want to call me. I knew my stuff. I did
as much research about the time period and our little fort that I could. I understood how it functioned in the
community, it’s role in the state and national scene. I loved to listen to local people talk about
the fort and what it had meant to them. The
best compliment I ever got was that I gave a better tour then the guides at
Gettysburg. I talked to my guests and
found out what they did for a living and what their hobbies were. I used that to gear the tours to what they
were interested in. I heard many stories, entertained and broadened many minds
in my days there. I had monthly programs
and built up a volunteer base. When I
left we had increased our attendance by quite a bit. I was very pleased at the work I had done
there.
However in Louisiana when you work for the state you have to
play a bit of politics. I am not very
good at it. I’m just not a good
liar. Someone just starting out with the
state usually has very few connections.
I am also not very good at working in a group. I just never have been. I tend to want to take charge, if I see there
is not effective leadership. I was given
little training for my job and basically at times thrown to the wolves. I was told go make a program, and get us more
attendance without any idea of how to do that.
Thank the gods for the fort keeping records of past programs or I would
never have even been able to fill out the paper work. I did the best I could.
Working at the fort, like most things in Louisiana was at
times feast or famine. One day I would
have 40 school kids come in and then I would not see another living soul on the
property for two days. Fort Jesup had 3
managers in the year and a half that I was there. The first one was kind of a dud. The third one was a pawn, but the second one,
she ….she was a nightmare. Her name was
Kathleen.
I am not blameless in this, mistakes were made and I was in
the wrong on many occasions. There were
many strong women who were fighting for control of the fort’s future. My job could be very, very boring. I spent many hours on the computer, sometimes
researching about the fort and others like it from that time period, and
sometimes goofing off. When we were
asked to move all of our ranger things to the third floor, I built a palate,
and often napped between guests. I got
caught and reprimanded for this. Not the
best move, but something I should mention in my effort of full disclosure.
The things they asked me to do often befuddled me. I watched my bosses take credit for things
that I did. Things I planned and
initiated. I was given paperwork for
another park and told to write the programs for their interpreter. I refused.
If I had to do my own work, he had to too. They would tell me to clean exhibits that
were already clean. Clean bathrooms that
were spotless. Mop floors that had no
dirt on them. We had a cleaning lady and
a maintenance staff of two, for our little less than 5 acre park. I would often bring my sewing, embroidery, or
crochet with me, or use the spinning wheel to pass the hours. I even learned to play a period instrument,
though badly.
Kathleen was awful.
She was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive to all of us. Everything was by the book to her. Her way often went against what I was being
told by hire ups. She would chastise me
for the littlest of things, like picking common wildflowers at the park or once
taking a ride around the park on a motorcycle with some guests. Things I saw as harmless. Then there was my dress. Our district manager, Tommy, told me he
wanted me in historical dress at all times.
She told me she wanted me in our park uniforms. I did what Tommy told me to do. This caused a great bone of contention
between us.
In September of 2004 I had my annual review. It was basically a yelling session. I was told what a horrible ranger I was and
that the only reason I was going to be allowed to stay was because they had yet
to find someone qualified to do my job.
I was basically a place hold, a human book mark, until they could find
someone else. Again Kathleen told me
there was something wrong with me and how stupid I was. I began to seek counseling again to find out
what was wrong with me. I was eventually
diagnosed with ADD and an above average IQ.
I began to drink heavily to cope with what was going on at
work. I didn’t know what else to
do. I became good friends with the
gentlemen who was head over all park rangers.
He had told me to come to him with anything. I also
called and talked to the park rangers where she had previously worked. I wanted to know if it was just me she hated
or had she done this before. I asked if
they had had any problems with her. They
told me they had and had kept a log of all she had done to them. When she had come to my fort they had
destroyed the log. I began to compile my
own, with dates as best as I knew them. I advised other to do the same. I sent an email to the head of the park
rangers telling him my problems. He told me to document everything and to speak
to Tommy. I was quite terrified as I did
not like Tommy, but I typed everything up and made plans to meet with him any
ways. I did not know that my emails were being monitored until Kathleen
confronted me.
“Are you planning to turn me in?”
I did not speak until she became adamant and belligerent. “Yes,” I finally said. “How did you know?”
“I get a copy of all your emails. How many incidents are you planning to turn
me in on? One?”
I said, “No, at the moment 12.”
“If I go, you go!”
I turned in my report in to Tommy anyways. In a few weeks, Kathleen was given a bright
shinny award for her service and then she officially “retired.” I am quite sure it was retire or be fired.
The question, for the higher ups, now became what to do with
me, the whistle blower, and trader to the good old boy system. I have always had problems in knowing when to
keep my mouth shut, and this was one of the times. I began to tell other rangers what I had
done, how she had treated me and that I was the driving force behind getting rid
of her. No good deed goes unpunished.
I was sent to Los Adaes State Historic Site, a 18th
century Spanish fort, a few miles away.
It was also run by the same manager that ran Fort Jesup. Before I could apply for Kathleen’s job,
someone else was appointed. Los Adaes
had no visitors, no internet, and few books.
I think it was their holding place for me, until they could figure out
what to do with me.
The new manager began to take inventory of everything on the
site. I was questioned about items that
came up missing. Some of these things
had been missing for years, long before I ever got there. One of these items was a reproduction pocket
watch, total value about $30. It had
been in an exhibit and I began to carry it with me as part of my persona. I did not wear a watch. Didn’t think it would look too good with my
historical dress. I should have just
bought a cheap plastic watch and put it in my pocket. No one would have ever known, but I
didn’t. There were days that I would
forget I was carrying it and come home with it.
In time I could not find the watch, now whether I lost it, or it was
stolen from me I will never know. When
they finally confronted me about the watch I told them I did not know where it
was. I offered to pay for the watch. I even offered to pay twice it’s value.
There was also a sewing machine that came up missing that I
was accused of stealing. I had mentioned
to them that mine was broken and in the shop.
I told them, “Why would I want your piece of plastic crap when I run a
vintage cast iron 1969 Singer sewing machine.”
Because I could not prove to them that I had not stole the machine, and
could not find the pocket watch, they fired me in January of 2005. They told me, “You don’t meet our
expectations.” Tommy said, “I did not
want to come down here and do this. This
came from high up.” They had found their
trumped up reason to get rid of me. I
was told I could never work for state parks again and that I was not allowed to
ever set foot back on Fort Jesup property.
I even had to fight with them to get unemployment. The judge concluded that although my actions
may have been moral reprehensible they were not criminal and they could not
deny me my benefits.
I have been asked over the years why I did not fight the state.
I had no definitive proof that turning Kathleen in had caused my firing. There were things like my sleeping pallet,
the pocket watch and performance review that they would bring up. I had no money to fight an organization that
would close ranks to cover its ass and protect its own. No matter what had been done.
As for Jay he had been hired as a Park Ranger himself at the
newly opened South Toledo Bend State Park, a job which he loved. He was given six months in which to pass the
physical, he failed. So by March of 2005
both of us were unemployed and looking for work.
Jay and I continued to look for work. Jay even went back to work at Albertsons for
a few weeks. He finally got a job with
Family Dollar in Shreveport. Jay was
back to driving, to and from our house in Ebarb. As gas was so expensive, he would spend a few
nights a week with his mom or Momma Muriel, and then a few nights with me.
I spent the next nine months looking for work. I even went back to selling Avon. I was depressed. I was demoralized. To have been accused of theft, was soul
crushing. I felt humiliated. I felt I had borrowed the watch and lost it,
never that I stole it. We felt
stuck. I was terrified we would lose our
home. We had no idea what to do. Then Katrina and Rita struck.
Ilsa
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