In the Fall of 2002 I was sitting in Maddie’s kitchen when I
told her 80% of marriages are made by friends.
I was officially putting the word out there that I wanted a
boyfriend. I felt I was ready. I told her everybody knows somebody. You have a cousin, a brother, a friend, a
person at work who is single. You know
somebody. If you think he is good enough
for me, then I will go out with him.
And so it went.
Maddie’s mother came back a few weeks later with news, that she knew of
a young man who would like to hang out with us.
Maddie’s mom at the time was selling houses. The lady she was selling houses with had a
next door neighbor who had a lonely young son.
So he was Maddie’s–Mom’s-Business partner’s-Neighbor’s –Son. I felt like
I was playing 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon!
Lol! It was said all he did was
work and come home and play on his computer.
“Oh great,” I thought,” another one like Mike. He’s probable downloading porn.” We all agreed to meet. They
told me everybody called him Jay.
Somehow it all got twisted up in my head and I thought this
first meeting was going to be a date. So
I was looking good, hair and makeup did, high heel shoes and a velvet skirt
slit up to my thigh. I was going to outclass
him and get rid of him. I still don’t
understand why I wanted to do that, but I did.
I know I thought that if I was completely myself he will run for the
hills. The men I met always did. They were afraid for a smart, beautiful, and
empowered woman. That was my plan
anyways. It didn’t work.
On December 17th, 2002 Maddie and I go to Barns
and Nobles where we were all scheduled to meet.
We are all just milling around.
Maddie and I had come together in my car and Jay had come in his
car. Hey pluses already for him. He had a job and his own car. Maddie and I are walking around, just soaking
up the books, because you know I am such a nerd. I love books and knowledge. I love libraries. I love the smell of a freshly cracked open new
book. I grab a nice, new, fat, purple
velvet notebook and a book of Shakespearean Sonnets. Now I really do like Shakespeare even if I
find him at times a bit confusing, but the book is part of my plan.
Maddie takes me around the corner and points out Jay. Oh My Goddess! He is the most beautiful man I have seen in a
long time. He looks like a cowboy. He’s wearing a dune colored outback style hat
and a long black duster. He has the most
beautiful blue twinkling eyes, full of mischief I am sure. He is fluffy and sports a mustache and
goatee. Not only is he standing among
the books, he is reading thru them trying to chose one. I am hooked.
Now this particular Barns and Nobles’ has a Starbucks in it,
one of the first in our town. Jay and I
have made eye contact across the room. I
am standing in line. We can’t quit
stealing glances at each other. I feel
my face flush as I blush. I’m going to
play with him a bit. After a few more
stolen glances I motion for him to come over, with that one finger come
hither. Now I did not know until much
later that he had no idea who I was.
Maddie had not pointed me out to him.
He did not come over because he knew he was there to meet me. He came over on his own accord, which made me
feel even better, even stronger that I still had sexual power.
“I’m sorry.” I said,
“I just could not resist toying with you just a bit.” I trail off.
Gods he’s so cute, I can’t keep a straight thought. My turn has come up to order. I set my books down as I order. I order tea. He tries to pay for it.
“Oh!” he says, “I see you like Shakespeare. I do too.”
My first thought is cool.
My second thought is crap I am not going to get rid of this dude! My plan to outclass him is not working! Ugh!!!
I get my tea and sit down with Maddie, and Jay right behind
me. I don’t know if he knew I was the
one he was there to meet until that point.
So I still think this is a chaperoned date. I begin the conversation at the table with the
truth of who I am, that I am recently divorced from an abusive marriage, the
conditions I have, the medications I take and the meetings I am attending. I tell him before he becomes emotionally
invested in me, he needs to understand what he’s getting into, and if he doesn’t
like it there’s the door. He does not
move, and tells me, “I’m not leaving.”
Wow! Just freaking wow!
He spends the rest of the afternoon walking around and
shopping with us. In PetCo he begins to
dance and sing like a lunatic. He’s
trying to make me laugh. I love it. He has yet to stop trying. Now Jay has told me a bit about his life up
until this point. He was two years
younger than me. He’s graduated from
High School, flunked out after a semester in college and been working ever
since. He’s worked at Albertson’s as a
courtesy clerk for many years. You know
he’s the guy behind the counter that sells you lottery tickets, cigarettes,
money orders, stamps and at that time renting videos. He’s also been a bag boy, a checker, and
worked in their liquor store department.
He lives with his family and currently had no great aspirations to do
anything else with his life.
He and I have lead very different lives. I have been to
college and been divorced. He’s never
lived anywhere else then Northern Western Louisiana. I begin to think we have nothing in
common. I tell Maddie we need to shake
him. When we are done with our shopping
I shake his hand, tell him it was nice to meet him, but we have nothing in
common and that I will see him down the road.
Maddie and I get in the car and begin the 30 minute drive back to her
house. I cried the whole way there. I was so afraid I had hurt his feelings. He was such a sweet guy, but I was sure it
was not going to work out between us. And
as we all know my calculations are never wrong!
Ha! Yeh just look at my life with
Mike!
We get to Maddie’s and she gives me a glass of wine to calm
down. Finally threw the tears Maddie gets
it through my thick skull, that this was not a date, that it was just a meeting
of the minds as it was. I am
horrified. I stop crying
immediately. Oh I’ve really fucked up
now!
“Give me the phone!”
I said. I dial Jay and by the
time he answers I am in tears again. “I’m so sorry!” I blurt out. “I thought it was date. I’m so sorry!
Come back!” I tell him we are
making dinner, and to come over. I
hastily tell him directions to Maddie’s house.
I tell him I will wait outside for him.
In those days I usually did not travel by myself. That night at Maddie’s I had both Precious the
first and Sissy with me. Precious the
first, is my beautiful black and tan Dachshund daughter. Sissy, is my cream colored half Schnauzer,
half Mutt sister.
Jay comes in the door and by the time he gets to the kitchen
Precious the first, has jumped up into his arms and is giving him kisses. She looks at me and I hear, “Mommy,
Mommy! Can we keep him? He smells like Chihuahuas!” She then goes back to kissing him, I hear
her call him Daddy. Now at the time I
did not understand I was an animal communicator. I just pushed it aside, and figured it was
nonsense. But I did recognize the sign. My daughter liked him, I liked him, he didn’t
run off, tried to pay for me tea, opened doors for me and liked books. I put my hand over my face. “Fuck,” I thought, “I’m going to have to
marry this guy and I just met him today!”
But Sissy is the one who sealed the deal. I’ve told you how she acted towards
Mike. She never would let him touch her,
and screamed every time he tried. Sissy
knew long before I did, and as usual she was right on her instincts. After dinner Jay and I are laying on Maddie’s
large living room floor just chilling and talking. Sissy starts circling us. Once, twice, three times she goes. Jay stretches out a hand to her and she gets
almost close enough to let him touch her, close enough to sniff him, and she
backs up. This goes on for about an hour
until we get up from the floor. By our
third date Sissy was sitting in Jay’s lap giving him kisses. The animals always know, if we just listen.
Jay, Maddie, and Maddie’s Mom play cards for a few hours,
while I have a nap in Maddie’s bed. I
say I am too tried to dive home. Jay
offers to take me home, but I am not sure.
I just met him today, so I politely decline. Jay walks me to my car and gives me a hug
good bye. He tells me years later how
bad he wanted to kiss me that first night, but was a bit too shy.
Ilsa
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