I met D & K in our Druid group. In about May or June they really began to
attach themselves to me. Why Gods always
me! Sometimes all 5 of us, Juno, Kay,
me, D & K would hang out together.
Sometimes it would just be D & K and me. They found out that I could sew and they told
me they wanted robes. I told them if they bought the material, I would make the
outfits for them, and they did. I became
their sewing fool. I know I made two
robes, at least one cloak, and a bag in the span of a few weeks.
So we are all hanging out and getting on pretty well. D & K tell us they don’t like the way
things are going with the protogrove.
They have problems with Rovena. D
feels she is racist, because she dismisses her good ideas. D is African-American. I admit that I am not feeling particularly
spiritually fulfilled at this point.
Somewhere in here we began to talk about putting Holda’s Hands back
together.
D comes to me one day and says that she has thrown out her
husband (basically a friend she legal married) and their other roommate, not K. I think she gave me some sob story about how
was she going to afford everything. She
was going to school on line and cutting grass for a living. She was living in a trailer, she owned, not
far from my house. She says she is going
to rent out the trailer to make money.
Her mother owns a rent house in the hood and she does not want to go
back to live in it. She asks, if she
buys a little trailer can she put it on my land.
Me, ever wanting to please, ever wanting to make and gather
family around me, says yes. I never
thought to say, “Well let me consult with Jay first.” Yeh I’ve been a bitch like that. I have had to eat crow and apologize to Jay a
lot about things like this. I think I
often unwillingly and unconsciously make his life difficult sometimes, and I am
very sorry about that. I apologize to
him frequently about all this stuff, more so since I have started writing my
truth again. Still he loves me through
it all. I will never deserve him. For a long time I felt that just us living
here, on this land, and us living by ourselves, with our farm and our animals
was not enough. I wanted to add people
to our tribe, to make almost like a pagan commune. For a few months in 2013 that’s exactly what
I had, and it didn’t take long for that to wear pretty thin.
By the Fall of 2013 six of us were sharing my little
trailer. The girl and D & K kept
much different hours then Jay and I did.
They are also half our age as well.
Internet access became a big thing out here. Most of them had not lived without it in a
long time. D had to have it for
school. She was in school on line, but K
did all her homework for her. What
terrifies me is soon D will graduate with a degree in psychology. The fact she is controlling and manipulative
to almost everyone in her life scares me, and I think it should scare others.
All 4 of them would leave and take off and go to Wendy’s for
hours at a time. When we were finally
able to get satellite internet here, they would all congregate in Juno and
Kay’s room. They would leave me out here
in the rest of the house. There was
literally nowhere for me to sit in there, so much of the conversations I
missed. I began to feel they were
excluding me from their little club.
Childish, right?
One of the things that really irked me was that Jay and I
would cook dinner, clean the kitchen and go to bed. D&K who had cooking facilities in their
trailer, would come in and cook in my house at 10 or 11 o’clock at night,
making lots of noise while we were trying to sleep. Jay often had to get up at 4 in the
morning. Then they would leave their dirty dishes in
the sink for me to clean up the next morning. I asked them not to do this. I even started leaving the dish washer clean
and empty for them. Nope didn’t
help. Still got up in the morning, and there
were dirty dishes in my sink. Now I charged these girls no rent, any of them. They would help out and buy me dog food, and
share groceries, sometimes in exchange for rent. Sometimes I would find Juno washing D &
K’s dishes, but never D or K.
I usually run out of propane in the early spring and then
again in the fall. When the tank ran
out, I told D&K since they were cooking in the house, I wanted them to give
me $50 to help fill up my tank. I told
Juno and Kay the same thing. Not much I
thought as it usually takes $300-$500 to put propane in my tank. D&K suddenly decided to cook in their
trailer.
D also wanted to
drive my car everywhere, and I let her.
Stupid me! D had a huge SUV. She wanted to drive my car, because it got
better gas millage. She comes in one day
and starts talking about me putting her on the insurance. I started getting the feeling I was being
used, all over again.
I was getting to the end of my rope about that time. I was just overwhelmed. I was suicidal. Juno was having trouble with D then too. She could get no peace and quiet. They just walked into her room when they damn
well pleased, never knocked, even if the door was closed. My final straw came when I found out D was
talking smack about me to Juno, in my own fucking house. Something so bad that Juno has never had the
courage to tell me what she said. Oh no I’m not going to stand for that! Bitch you free loading off me and you going
to disrespect me in my own house. Oh you
can carry your ass!
D had accused me of being a raciest. Continually told me how dirty my house
was. She took it upon herself to tell me
how I needed to run my life, on several occasions. I felt at the time, she pushed me to put
Perro down. She tried to break up Juno
and Kay. Treated K like a dog and never
lifted a fucking finger to help herself.
She made K do everything for her.
She used her like a fucking slave.
I got to the feeling that I just wanted to kick D ass to the curb.
We tried to work things out.
It didn’t work. I finally made a
phone call to Rovena. I told her I
needed to have an emergency conference with her. Juno and I both went out to meet with
them. We told the everything D was
saying about them, behind their backs.
Then I told them what was going on in my house. I said
I need you to help me make a decision. I
did not want to be rash. I said, I am
considering asking D & K to leave.
What is your impression of them?
I will never forget Boogie saying, “I think she is a pathological liar.
I don’t trust her any farther than I can throw her. She’s a lazy bitch!” I was bit taken aback by that. I thanked them for their wise council and
left.
I went to Tami a few days later, told her how D was treating
me, and what I should do. Tami said, “I
would tell that bitch to bounce.” After
finally talking to Barb I made my decision to ask D&K to leave. I told D, “Some friends just cannot live
together. You have two weeks to get
out.” It was my intention to ask D &
K to leave, it was never my intention to ask Juno and Kay to leave as well.
Juno was furious with me.
She spent hours yelling at me, telling me what a horrible person I was,
what a bad pagan I was and that she had loved me like a mother. That one really hurt. She finally concluded with “If she goes, I’m
going too.” Juno did not speak another word
to me, although it took two weeks for them to move all their stuff out, for more
than 6 months.
With Juno, Kay, D & K gone, and our relationship in
shambles I felt I could not go back to Druid.
So for the first time in my life I became a solitary witch. I had burned all my bridges. I had been threw 2 covens, started and closed
2 more, and now felt I could not go back to Druid because of who was
there. For the first time in about 8
years I had no community to practice with.
I felt utterly alone.
As the girls drove out of the drive way, I looked at their
empty room and decided I should paint it.
I would go with the Chinese theme that Jay loved so well. I should give Jay back his room I though. So I went down to the Lowe’s and bought me
some red paint and black paint and started to work.
What D didn’t know is that the day I asked her to leave, Jay
and I received a large oil well check.
It felt like confirmation to me that I was doing the right thing. The check would be enough to buy our food
trailer and start the food business that we had always dreamed of Garson Du
Bayou. I means Boys of the Bayou in
French.
I never seem to stay out of trouble for long. In October of 2013, Paige would come back
into my life.
Ilsa
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