Being Pagan - the early years

I think becoming Pagan is a little like making gumbo.  No two are ever the same.  They vary not only from person to person but from region to region.  Do you serve it over rice, over potato salad or with nothing at all? All gumbos have a few basic parts:  the roux, the liquid, vegetables and meat.  But all are variable and most of that is based on geography, who taught you to make gumbo and personal preferences.  For your liquid do you use water or stock and is your roux light or dark?  What vegetables to you put in?  I add onions, garlic, bell pepper, and celery.  I don’t like okra, but where do you stand on Okra?  Is it true gumbo without okra?  Since gumbo literally means okra.  And then there is always the real test.  Is it chicken and sausage gumbo, or is it seafood?  Most of us in North Louisiana make gumbo with chicken and sausage, because seafood is more expensive and harder to get.   Most people on the coast make it with seafood because it is cheap and plentiful. 

There are many wonderful and delicious variety of Paganism out there.  The list of what is Pagan and what is not Pagan I think has changed over time.  Now when I was coming up Paganism meant anything that was not Abrahamic (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam).  So this meant religions with long traditions like Taoism, Shinto, Buddhist, and Hindu were still included.  There are other beliefs such as, but not limited to: Voodoo, Santeria, African Tribal, Native American Spiritualities and other religions of First Peoples, that kind of fall in the middle.  While some Pagans may be interested in these religions and / or borrow from these religions, that does not make the religions Pagan, in my mind.  All of the above religions are currently active in their regions of origin.  No one in them is trying to reconstruct anything about them.  They are wonderful beliefs, but they are not we in the Pagan community usually speak of when we say Pagan.  They stand alone.

Paganism, sometimes refers to as Neo-Paganism, tends to be, but is not limited to, things that are Indo-European in origin and Kemeticism or the belief in the Egyptian Gods, is usually thrown in for good measure.  So when I talk about Pagan I am referring to religions such as, but not limited to: Wicca, Witchcraft, Asatru, Heathenry, Slavic, Hellenic, Roman, Reconstructionist, and Druidic.  This is by NO means a comprehensive list.  That’s what we have Wikipedia for, thank the Gods!  There are many other branches of the Pagan tree that I don’t know of.  I am always learning more. Now within the above named religions there are many, many variations.  Wicca has lots of variations.  I have heard of over 20 or 30 different kinds of Wicca. I invite you to seek out the variations in all the above religions.    

Eclectic is a word you are going to hear a lot.  It is a word usually referring to people who have multiple Gods from multiple Pantheons.  This makes up a very large portion of the Pagan Population.  I have one friend for instance who is devoted to Yemoja, an Orisha, and Ganesha, a Hindu God.  She is also interested in Kemeticism or Egyptian Gods.  She does not consider herself Hindu, Voodoo, or Kemetic.  She considers herself Pagan.  Remember sometimes we chose our Gods and sometimes they chose us.  What you believe, I hope will be fluid.  That you pick up things, adding or subtracting, over time as you develop your religious recipe.  That your gumbo grows to suit and nourish you. 

For most of my Pagan life I have defined myself as a Heathen of some type.  Heathen refers to the native religion of Germany, Denmark, Scandinavia and Iceland.  Basically anywhere the Vikings lived.  Asatru and Heathenry are usually interchangeable terms.  I had been doing the Native American thing, which leads me to the pamphlet on Heathenry.  Then Holda had appears to me.  My family is of Germanic origin; we speak German, still have family in Germany, and still keep some German customs.  So following the Gods of the Germans was easy for me, because I have ties there.  Your story will be different.

You will find that Wiccan’s make up the majority of the Pagan movement.  The community I became a part of was filled with Wiccans, a Kemetic, a few Druids, and in the beginning no Heathens.  While I knew many on-line, it took me two years, and trip to the Pagan Unity Festival in Tennessee, to meet my first Heathens.  They have become true friends to me.  They called themselves Wayists.  They were essentially Druidic Heathens.  They were also unbelievable devotees of Holda’s as well.  I was so overwhelmed I cried.  I thought at first they were apparitions or spirits made flesh.  A gift to me, from Holda for having been faithful, and indeed they have been.  We quickly exchanged contact information and I remain in regular contact with them today.  I have said on many occasions that I was Heathen with heavy Druid leanings.

Maddie had taken me out to our local PNO, Pagan Night Out.  These events are held all over the country.  Check your area for one.  Ours meets at a local restaurant on the 13^th of every month.  It was there I meet a man I will only identify as Mike D.  He had a Polish sounding last name, so I told him about Heathenry.  I hoped maybe he would convert, then I would have a buddy and not be alone on my path, but that didn’t happen.  He did invite me to his ritual.  So Maddie and I went.  I liked the people. It was a big coven at the time, probable 10 or 15 strong.  I started getting involved with his coven, but I never officially joined.  I spent several years with them. I was given the honorary title of maiden, for my work with the group. In the ritual I was given a special belt, which I kept for many years.

I was also active on-line, at the time, building Njord’s Nest, which was based out of a Yahoo Group.  We called it Louisiana’s Kindred.  We were an email list of Heathens, trying to reach other Heathens in the Louisiana area.  Prior to Katrina there seems to have been a physical Heathen group in New Orleans, but after Katrina though people were scattered to the wind.  Other than that, there were no Heathen groups in the Louisiana area.  At least none that were public.  Njord’s Nest became a resource for people in the early days.  It was thru Mike D.’s coven that I met a man who would become my first student.  My student and I began to put together a Kindred, a Heathen group, along with some of his friends and family. 

I never hid the fact I was Heathen from anybody.  As Njord’s Nest was growing and our local chapter, Holda’s Hammer, was as well, l I reached out to Mike D.’s superior for help.  We wanted to make bylaws.  That’s kind of when all hell broke loose.  I was an honorary Maiden in Mike D.’s group, Co-founder of Njord’s Nest, and Gythia, or High Priestess, of Holda’s Hammer.  This was all widely known.  Mike D. goes to see his superior in New Orleans.  He returns and comes to me with a message from them.  Unless I immediately cease and desist, trying to run my own group, I will be stripped of my title and asked to leave.  I am confused and taken aback.  I am also told his superior refuses to help me with the bylaws.  She does not want her Wiccan group in any way associated with Heathenry.  And it took me a while to understand why.  There are those among the Skinhead and other hate organizations that claim Heathenry as their religion.  I am not one of those, neither are my friends, nor were any of my students. 

It takes a few weeks but I make the decision to leave Mike D.’s coven.  I will not give up, Njord’s Nest and Holda’s Hammer, and what I have worked so hard to build.  It broke my heart, but I left.

Ilsa