I am named in honor of her, however in my 30’s I changed the
spelling of my name, to separate myself a bit from her and because it is easier
for Americans to spell. I think in order
to really know me; you have to understand a bit about her. I have spent most of my life compared to her,
as her namesake. In fact she begged mom
not to name me Ilsa. She said, “They
will never say it right and never spell it right.” A prophecy that became true, but you learn to
deal with it. The movie Frozen has done
wonders for people being able to understand how to pronounce my name and
remember it, because now the they have something to associate it with.
Oma seems to have had a fairly normal upbringing. She was raised Lutheran in a German speaking
household. She attended school and had friends.
She is the middle child, with a younger brother and a older sister. Her life was steady and constant. Her father worked in the local ship yards and
her mother kept house. Then there was
Hitler and the war starts. The family is of German heritage and it seems
because of that they are hated. They are
seen the way many see Mexicans or Blacks in this country, lesser than. Her
brother goes to join the German army, and becomes an officer. She does not see him again for many years.
Oma, her sister, and their parents are left in what has become a decreasingly
unstable situation, and Hitler’s rule.
In the 1960’s she set down some of her memories of those
times. She states that, “We no longer
were permitted to talk to them [Jews] even though day’s before we kids played
together. “ They were all given ration
cards and soon became malnourished. She
tells us by the age of 16 (in 1942) she had already been a shoe sales girl and
an electric welder. She learns welding
in a labor camp outside of Danzig. She then begins to work in the shipyards. She talks about the bombings and how after a
while they don’t care what happens to them anymore. In January of 1945 a dud hits her home, but
only damages a balcony.
In February of 1945, she is 19, and begins to drive a street
car. She talks about soldiers being hung
from trees and mutilated by the Germans.
She does not say if they are Allied or German. The Russians began dropping pamphlets on the
city telling them they will soon liberate them.
In April of 1945, “shortly before my 19th birthday,” the
Russians invade. She describes them as
wild looking and some of them as “Mongolic.”
The rapes begin then. All women
are raped regardless of age or condition.
Small groups of women would lie on the floor while men took turns at
them. Parents were held at bayonets
point, so they could not help their children.
Her mother is raped 30 to 40 times, and she no less than 50. She says it becomes the sport of the
day. Girls that resisted we torched and
put on public display. She learned to
not fight back.
Soldiers, some say the Poles, begin to burn the city. They start at the corners of the German
section of town and light fires. They
are erasing the German people. This was a way to round up all those left and
still in hiding in the city. Many people
jumped to their deaths. Oma says, “by
the middle of April 1945 my hometown was 85% burned out.” They are homeless and she says, “we begin to
live like animals.” They stay alive by
eatting green potatoes, meat from dead horses and out of the garbage. She sleeps in ruins and tree stumps. She
says, “We learned only to do as we are told.”
She steals the clothes off the dead and sells them on the black market
for bread. Malnutrition takes over her, she
begins to swell like a balloon, and she loses her hair and all of her
teeth. She refuses to give up repeating
to herself day and night, “I will not, I cannot and I must not get weak.” It becomes her mantra in life. She repeats it agan to herself while dying of
cancer 40 years later. It is even
written on her headstone.
In August of 1945 they finally catch a break. They begin to repair the railroad tracks and
road going towards Berlin. It takes them
two months to get there. It is here they
get their first help. They are sprayed
with DDT to kill the lice covering them.
She talks of the elations of being free of the lice, clean clothes and
her first warm meal. It took them only 6
months to get in this condition. Somehow
they make it to my Great Uncle, her brothers’ home. (I still don’t know where
that was). She is unrecognizable accept
for her voice, but alive.
Ilsa
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