Monday, November 2, 2015

Friends


Logansport Rosenwald School was from Kindergarten until 6th grade.  Then you transferred and went to the big school.  Logansport High School was from 7th grade to 12th.  There really was no such thing as middle school for us, but I will refer to my 7th and 8th grade years in that way here, for your convenience and understanding. 

When I went to 7th grade, I had three best friends.  Sonya had been my best friend since 1st grade, and would continue to be, until my senior year.  She treated me like dirt.  Courtney was a short, round girl who lived down the street from me.  We took her on vacation with us once, and camping at least once.  Sonya and Courtney were my BFFs for many, many years.

Mary transferred in to Logansport Rosenwald, from the Caddo Magnet program.  She was very smart and very nice.  I fear she thought we are all stupid.  She easily excelled at our school.  Mary was also African American. She and I were one of the first interracial friendships my school had seen.  We hung out together at lunch, and she spent the night at my house a few times.

Stacy, Angela Heartsfield, and Jennifer were also my very good friends.  We all hung out together and ate lunch together.  I called it “holding court.”  I felt all people there were free to speak their minds, and tell any story they wished. 

I will never forget stepping into my new lunchroom.  All the black kids were on one side, and all the white kids were on the other.  They call it self-segregation. So when Mary sat down with me on the white side, which had the only open table, we both got dirty looks.  Mary took a lot of heat for that from the black community.  They often accused her of wanting to be white.  I think that idea just befuddled her. 

Together all of us kind of formed our own click.  We were the outcasts, the weird ones, most of us terribly smart. We were our own Isle of Misfit Toys.  We, as a group, often floated between the jocks, the poor kids and some of the black group, but then again we were also a cohesive group on our own and often stayed to ourselves.  As self-centered as it may sound, I often felt they were my entourage.  I felt I was surrounded and protected by strong, intelligent, beautiful women, but none of it would last very long.

Into our group we added Alison.  She became one of my closest friends.  Her father was the pastor of Maple Springs Baptist Church.  It was right next door to Louisiana Pacific (the log plant) and the creosote plant.  Her father was one of those charismatic leaders.  I would find out later, that when he left town, he owed quite a few people money.  It was to him I posed the question of, “Who are God’s parents?”  He became violent and belligerent towards me, and told me to never ask such things again.

Alison’s church had a choir and you know me, I just love to sing.  We rehearsed again, and again.  We were preparing to do Bette Midler’s, “You are the wind beneath my wings,” about the time my dad told me, I had to quit.  I remember turning in my choir shirt, with tears in my eyes.  I was devastated.  I still don’t quite understand what happened.  My guess is this.

I had made an alter call.  I had for several years been masturbating.  Something I believed I had invented.  Remember no sex ed. here people.  I knew I was going to burn in hell for this.  I felt I could not bring up such a subject up with my parents.  I feel embarrassed and squeamish bringing up such a subject to you even now.  In a generation full of women’s liberation and equality, women’s rights and long after the sexual revolution took place.  My parents never discussed such thing with me.   I would make several altar calls, as several different places, before I would find out what I was doing was healthy, natural, and normal. 

I was also making altar calls about this time, because I had heard other people’s stories of being saved.  Some said they saw light or halos, or that God spoke to them.  None of that had happened to me when I got saved, so I thought perhaps I had done it wrong.

When I made this particular altar call, Alison and her buddies took me in the back of the church.  They told me how proud they were of me, how they had been praying for this and that now I could be saved.  I tried to explain to them that I was already saved, that I had been sprinkled in the United Methodist Church the year before.  They told me that this did not count.  The only way I could be saved was to be baptized.

I had stumbled upon a nasty Southern truth.  Most Southern Baptist churches, don’t recognized a person’s baptism, outside of their own denomination.  I have also known some church that only recognized your baptism, if you were baptized in their church.  Even, for some of these people, if it was another Southern Baptist Church, you had to do it again.

United Methodism is not like that.  You tell us you were baptized on such and such a date, and at such and such a church, we will believe you, as long as we can verify it.  No problems.  You don’t have to be resprinkled or be rebaptized.  We simply call it a profession of faith,  you are then counted as a member of the church, and given what we call a “letter.”

Dad tells me I came home that night, after my altar call, “talking all kinds of crazy shit.”  He knew that the people I was hanging out with up there, were not the people I need to be around.  So he told me I had to quit the choir.  I think I stopped being friends with Alison about that time as well.

My friendship with Alison pushed me to places that I was not comfortable going.  One of the girls in our click was named Stacy.  She is a dear and treasured friend.  Alison convinced me that Stacy needed saving.  She and I brought our bibles to school.  Not a big deal, lots of people did that.  During our 7th grade English class, we asked to be excused, outside with Stacy.  The teacher said okay.  I believe she knew what we were going to do.  We left the room with our bibles in hand.  We took Stacy outside and proselytized to her, and told her she need to be saved.  We were so adamant, that Stacy started crying, because we had upset her so bad.  I had to stop.  I think I walked back inside. 

I have apologized to Stacy several times, over the years for this.  The fact that I attacked Stacy in this way, on school property, and was allowed to do so, by the teacher, still bothers me a lot.  Stacy should have been free to attend school without the fear of some trying to shove their religion down her throat.  Just imagine, if your kids got accosted by a bunch of Muslims, that tried to force your child in to believing in Ali, while she was at school, and the teacher knew about it.  You would probably be pissed too.  Although Stacy is a Christian, and was back then too, I wonder how many people get accosted like this every today.

Courtney and I, were also coming to the end of our friendship, about that time as well.  I had loved Courtney, as a best friend, for many years.  But she frequently insulted me, and made fun of both me, and of the things, I loved and treasured.  She also would always hold over my head, everything I ever did wrong.  I stopped speaking to her as well.  I often acted as if she was dead or she simply wasn’t there at all.  Not an easy thing to do as we both graduated in the same class together of 47.  Between the time I stopped speaking to her in middle school, and today, I think I have said less than a paragraph to her. 

Breaking up with Courtney had to be as hard on her, as it was on me.  We were continuously urged by both our parents and other friends to fix our relationship, but I refused to budge.  I can be very stubborn when I want to be.  I see Courtney’s Momma ever now and again, and ask after her.  I even ran into Courtney a few years back and spoke to her.  She looked like she wanted to run away from me.  I tried to friend her on Facebook, and make amends but she told me no.  Although I have no desire to be her friend again, as I know how she is, I do want to apologize to her, for the way I behaved towards her, and for not being there for her when her dad died.  I want her to know I wish her all the best that life has to give her. 

 

Ilsa

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