So it has been almost a month since Oh Goddess here we go again! was written and there have been many little
victories and improvements. I happy to
say that many of you have offered not only your good wishes, but your expertise
as well. I am calling this endeavor Team
Ilsa.
No I was never able to afford to see the nutritionist. So I have a friend who I am talking with
about my food issues, and nutrition in general.
I checked out a book on nutrition from the library. Even thought it makes me want to vomit with anxiety
every time I look at it. I am at least
trying. I may only make it through a
page or two, at a time, but hey better than nothing right? Oh it gives me the same anxiety as math does! I just look at it and go, nope I can’t do
it. I just keep reminding myself, if I
can survive 9 hours of French in one summer and leave an abusive marriage, I
bet I can do this too. This shit is real
confusing so y’all stay tuned for new developments on that front too.
No, I never was able to go to physical therapy. That so many of you who have gotten down on
the floor to show me exercises that you learned in PT, that have helped you,
means the world to me. Thank you. Every day I get on the floor and do my back
exercises. And it is the craziest shit
y’all, my back and hip hurt less. My
back spasms, that have controlled my life for so long, are down by at least
50%, my general and over all pain is down by 30% or so. I even think it has helped my IC pain. I am able to stand for longer periods of
time, without having to sit because of a spasm.
Last night I had another little victory, I stood in the kitchen long
enough to work on my pork stock, make dinner, make tea, unload and then reload
the dishwasher, and dish up dinner. Yes
there was some leaning, but no sitting.
A total of maybe 15 or 20 minutes?
Unthinkable before all this started.
I noticed this morning I am not turning over in my sleep. I have tossed and turned for years. I fall asleep on my left side, have for a
really long time, last night woke up twice on my right. Also sleeping more on my back, never been
able to do that. I am standing to do my
morning and evening bathroom routine, you know brush your teeth, wash your
mask, take your meds, etc. I had been
sitting half way through.
The exercises are getting better. At first when I started doing them I
screamed, cried and moaned a lot, cause they hurt so incredible bad. Some of the worst pain I have ever had!!! Now that is down by 85%. Mostly now when I get down on the floor to
start and when I work my left side. I
started with 1 rep, of 5 (you know 1,2,3,4,5) on each of my exercises, now I am
up to almost 5 reps, of 5 (you know 1,2,..25) or hope to be by the end of the
week. I am trying to add 5 a week, to
get to my goal of 10 reps (you know 50), which is what the Orthopedist
originally prescribed. Crazy man wants
me to do this twice a day! Well maybe
one day, but for the moment I am damn proud to be at 25! It’s kind of like asking somebody to move a
dump load of dirt, and giving them a teaspoon.
Yes it can be done, it is just going to take a long time. Hey I didn’t get in this condition over
night, I ain’t going to get out of it in just a few weeks.
I started out only being able to raise my left leg, when lying
on my right side, about a foot, I am close 90°
at this point. Maybe I will be there
next week. When I do my back relax, it’s
the first thing I do (lay on back and put legs in chair, hold for 15 minutes),
I put my arms out to the side, slowly they are relaxing. I didn’t realize how much tension I was
carrying in my shoulders and arms. I
wonder if it is the boobs? At first I
could not do this exercise without a pillow under my head, now I don’t need
it. My arms would not go down all the
way. I would stretch out my arms, but
could not rest them, palm side down. I
am there now with my left. My right is
better. I can finally get it to lay
almost all the way on the back of my hand, I am close to being able to turn it
palm down and leave it there. As more
and more of my arm relaxes I feel different parts of it hit the floor, first my
under arms, and now almost all of my fore arm.
Thought I could not get them down ‘cause there was just too much fat,
nope, muscles were just to freaking tight.
My time has gotten better, as far as how long my floor
exercises take me. When I started out it
took me about an hour and a half. I’ve
got my time down to about 45 minutes to an hour. Slowly but surely right? Turtle won the race. I was telling Jay yesterday, that I am kind
of glad I did not go the PT route and I am doing it at home. I think they would have pushed me beyond
where I was comfortable in the beginning, 5 would not have been enough for them
and once I started screaming that would have upset everyone in the building and
I would have been embarrassed and not come back. Or felt I did not please the PT and not come
back.
I am also continuing with my walking. It is helping with the swelling, even though
I have had several setbacks for unknown reasons, as far as that is
concerned. Every day I walk at least
once, if I do nothing but let the goats out (about 100 steps from house to gate
and back) or make a loop around the barn (about 175 steps). I will measure for you this week. I got myself a handy app for that. My goal daily is to walk twice, that has kind
of been fucked up this week with all the rain, but I keep out it. I even went shopping the other day, just so I
could walk. My first goal was to
actually get up on gravel road, and make it back without sitting. I made that within the first few weeks. My second goal was to make it to the main road,
and back without sitting down, about 500 steps, 0.2 miles. I am happy to say that I made it last night,
and again this morning. I know there
will be setbacks. I know there will be
days I am lapping the barn again. But I
have to keep trying, I don’t want the pain back. My next goal is to walk the end of the dead
end road, across the street from me, without stopping. Maybe even one day run it. The road is a mile down and a mile back. And why do we say it that way. Like it’s going to be a mile down to the end
and then 4 miles back. What, are they
physics and geography suddenly going to change?
LOL!
So I am reading about nutrition, doing my exercises, and
walking. I am also experimenting with
vegetables. I am trying to determine
what are the most economical vegetables to buy.
This pay check we experimented with collard greens, cabbage, celery,
carrots, cilantro, Bok choy, and lemons.
We are trying to not use salt in anything, other than flavor pasta
water. Jay is even trying to limit the
amount of season salt he is using. Bless
him! I love him so! Season salt to him is like garlic powder, he
puts it on just about everything!
Below is how my vegetable experiments turned out:
- I made collards in the slow cooker, with onion, garlic, and ham hock. Tiny bit of salt and sugar. They were really great! Served with cornbread. Next time might do hot water cornbread instead, and change ham hock to another kind of meat. Was not crazy about the smoke flavor with it.
- Draped the seasoned cabbage in bacon and steamed on the stove with some water. Really good. No change needed, except perhaps less bacon.
- Jay made a really good sauce, was really like a pesto. Had the juice of 3 fresh squeezed lemons, cilantro, minced garlic, little lime juice, jalapeno juice, olive oil, basil, and dried oregano mixed in the blender. Then we marinated chicken breasts in it, and baked at 350°. Was really good.
- Shanghai Bok Choy is a really cool vegetable. We tried at first steaming it in the rice cooker for 45 minutes. They were still kind of crunchy. Next marinated it over night in Jay’s left over pesto, then microwaved it for 10 minutes and it was perfect! One Bok Choy per person. Jay does not like Bok Choy. Kind of like greens, lends itself to whatever flavors you give it.
- Put a bag in the freezer to put all my ends and nibble bits in to make stock. Used my pork chop bones, ham hock, carrot ends, and onion peels from this week. Cooked it all day long in the slow cooker. Added onion powder, black pepper, and garlic powder. Kind of flat without salt. Slow cooker did not reduce water in it. Had to take it out and boil it on the stove to remove half the liquid. Will do it on the stove next time. Plan to freeze it in greased muffin tin and then pop out and put in freezer bags. Need to invest in ice cube trays.
Well so that is kind of where I am at with all this
y’all. Thanks for letting me prattle
on. I just pray to have the strength and
desire to keep doing all of this. It’s
an awful lot for me to juggle. I have no
idea if I will, what tomorrow holds, or if this time will be any different than
all the other times before. I have no
faith that it will be. But then again, I
felt the same way when I started writing almost a year ago. I am 350lb, the odds that I can lose 200lb on
my own, naturally, with no help of surgery is pretty astronomical. So I am not being crazy and focusing on
that. I want to ease into this gently
and slowly, maybe then it will stay. I
am focusing on not having as much pain.
If I could have less pain, than that would be a victory I would take any
day of the week over being skinner. And
that people you can take to the bank.
Ilsa
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